Friday, April 30, 2010

Thursday, April 29, 2010

So Long, Insecurity!

My mom and I had the wonderful opportunity to attend the Beth Moore Simulcast this past weekend, and very much enjoyed and were convicted by her message. (Along with 300,000 other women across North America!)   (Thanks, Dad and Tim for watching the girls so we could enjoy a little mother-daughter time!)  We learned very quickly that insecurity is not humility and actually is a form of sin and pride as one's insecurities (my insecurities!) cause one to constantly be focused on themselves and what others are thinking of them.  She outlined, in the funny, heart-warming, insightful, energetic way that only Beth Moore can, what it looks like to be a secure woman in Christ.  Her words and the scriptures she spoke from have continued to minister to me all week.  It is my hope, that each day, I can continue to live as the redeemed daughter of the King that I am.  If not for my own sake, for the sake of my little girls, who do and will look to me as an example of what security in Christ looks like. 
As the event wrapped up, she asked us to turn to the woman beside us, and say these words to each other.  It was a really meaningful thing to say these words to my mom and to hear her say them to me:  (I copied this from Beth's blog at

My Dear Sister

If Christ is Your Savior
You are the dwelling place
Of His own Spirit
You have it IN YOU
to be secure.

Every day of your life
You have a choice to make
You can live in your old defeat
Or you can turn from your unbelief
And choose life

Make up your mind
To put off the old you
And put on the new you.

Never, ever, ever forget
That the Lord is your security.
He will keep your foot
From being caught in a trap.

He will take care of you
To your very last breath.

Now, leave this place
And go out into the world
And act like a person
Who knows she’s dearly loved.

You were born to be exceptional.
So, Girlfriend, go forth

And walk worthy of your calling.
You are clothed in strength and dignity!

Now unto Him
Who can keep you from falling
Be glory and majesty
Power and authority
Through Jesus Christ our Lord
Now and forever more
So Long, Insecurity!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Is this what He sees?

If this wasn't the cutest little sad face, I might not be able to handle all of the crying at my house some days ...
As a general rule, my kiddos are happy little girls, who play well together, are not terribly demanding and are learning to mind their parents and say please and thank you.  But, we have our moments, sometimes several moments, when the crying and fussing and carrying on abounds!  Recently, I had one of those "aha" parent moments when I caught just a glimpse of what God sees in me at times.  For the most part, I am a happy gal, not terribly demanding of God, I'm learning to listen to Him more and be more thankful even when I don't always get what I want.  But ... I wonder if when he looks down at me somedays if he sees a face and attitude like the one Brynn was sporting in the picture above!  The following true story brought me to this reflection ...
Brynn has assumed the role recently of my right hand man babe whenever I am at the stove preparing supper.  At 5:30 pm without fail she is hungry -- hungry is not a pleasant thing to be in our house!  (you'd think my kids were starving by the way they behave at supper time, except for the thigh-rolls and cheeks that give them away - but that's another story)  Anyway ... If there is something brewing on the stove, she assumes (correctly, for the most part) that it is for her.  She is not content to observe or happily sit by my feet while I lovingly prepare a gourmet feast hurridly throw something together! :)  Instead, she stands right next to me, reaching up for me, squaking, crying and shouting "mama" seven hundred and thirty seven times.  One day last week she discovered she could open the oven door.  Knowing she had figured out how to get to the jack-pot, I stood in front of the oven door, preventing her from getting the door open while the casserole was in the oven.  This royally ticked her off.  The typical crying and begging while I'm fixing supper, turned into all-out-fit-pitching.  And I do mean meltdown of epic proportions.  You'd think she was seriously injured or otherwise in jeopardy of serious injury the way she carried on.  I just shook my head, as I told her, "Honey, if you open that door while its hot, you'll burn your little hands."  She, of course, had no idea what I was saying, and continued to fuss.  I tried telling her "owie, hot, no touch" or something to that effect, thinking maybe she'd understand that instead.  Nope ... more fit-pitching, alligator tears, hanging head in defeat, more clinging to the handle on the oven door trying in vain to wip it open. 

Then there was that still small voice ... is this the way God sees me sometimes?  Do I beg and cry and whine and shout my requests to Him, not knowing what it is I am really asking for?  Do I pitch a big fit when I don't get just what I want?  Do I cling to and hang on the proverbial oven door, begging him to let me open it, not knowing that doing so will severely burn my hands ... inflicting pain and suffering for myself and for those around me?  Thank you, sweet Father, for standing in front of me, guarding me from my own selfish desires, knowing what it is that I am really asking for and keeping me from the harm I would so readily bring on myself.  And thank you for babies who fuss, who try my patience somedays, who are growing and developing just like they should, and who have taught me and continue to teach me lessons I would never learn otherwise.  I do so love them ... even when that's the face I look down at.  I can more clearly see that You look at me with that same kind of affection, even when my grumpy face is the one you see.   And, I continue to stand in awe ...

Monday, April 12, 2010

A nice change of pace

So after an extremely busy month in March, we have made it to April!  And, I'm really loving the change of pace.  I plan to post another time about my last few days at Family Medicine, but I don't have the pictures yet to go with the post ... so that post will be out of order, but that's ok.

Back to loving the change of pace...

For the first Monday in I don't know how many years (not counting maternity leaves and holidays) ...
... I did not set an alarm clock and slept in until the girls woke me up (it was 7:30AM, but that's not so bad)
... I stayed in my pajamas until 9:30 while sipping on a cup of coffee
... enjoyed just being a momma 
... laughed at Brynn learning to use a spoon
... threw a ball to Ella at least 50 times while she tried to catch it.  She told Brynn "I playing catchers with mom, and I'm a good catcher."  All the while, she was wearing her jammies shirt, undies, and high healed purple princess shoes.  I love that she is still little enough to wear exactly what she wants without worrying about how it looks; that she is still confident enough to believe she is a good catcher despite missing well over half of the balls thrown to her; just the right mix of girly-girl and tom-boy.
...put sunblock on the girls for the first time of the summer!  (Can I call it summer even though its only April?  It was 70+ degrees this morning!)
... rode my bike to the park while carting the two (not so little) bitties in the bike trailer (whew!) and watched them play in the sand and on the slides for an hour (B looked so cute in her sun hat!) 
... got eaten by a pink dinosaur while she was also eating her lunch (she said I tasted like chocolate...hmm)
... read them their stories myself before putting them down for naps
...then scurried off to pick up the basement and iron a few shirts for Tim (you're welcome, hon!)
... now I'm off to fix something for supper because soon the girlies will be awake again (or be awake still in Ella's case -- she's gonna be miserable later after not napping well  at all today)

I think I'm going to get used to this schedule really quickly!